Trying Again
by DillonRB
Summary: After a long shift Jimmy and Kim reconnect...


Hey! This story takes place before Season 5. It doesn't really fit in specifically around an episode but it's before Jimmy transferred out of the 55.

I'd love to hear from you so let me know, did you like it, hate it, whatever??? Compliments and criticisms are always welcome!

This story is to be continued so watch out for part 2 coming soon...

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Over burgers at their favorite diner they'd talked for hours, enjoying each other's company in the wake of an awful shift that had left the whole house moping in a somber cloud for the rest of the night. 

Jimmy had been leaning wearily against his car when she'd emerged from the house into the warm, dark night. He was looking irresistible as usual and when he'd asked her to join him for a bite to eat she simply couldn't say no. He was her weakness she'd never been able to say no him and she was keen for the chance to forget the things that had happened during the day.

He smiled at her and every time he did, those dimples denting his cheeks, her heart raced. There was no one that could make her feel the way he did even after they'd been through so much.

In the past he'd hurt her, she couldn't deny that. When she remembered his confession to her, her heart broke. She'd believed the love they had was strong and that nothing could come between them.

But she had learned just how wrong she was to have ever thought that and she had barely managed to gather all her courage and walk away from him.

Over the 5 years they had been apart she had hoped the love that still burned strong for him would disappear, taking with it the pain he had caused her, but it was still there, as it always had been.

Missing him had proven too much for her and on more than one occasion she had found herself on his doorstep desperate for his embrace, his kiss, his love. But slowly things had changed.

After being hurt more times than she cared to remember she'd learned to live without him and she watched him as he finally grew into a man, no longer the little boy inside he had been when she had first fallen in love with him. Strangely she felt proud of him for resolving to make changes in his life and carrying through with them even though she wished he had been able to do so earlier.

She was still in love with him, she knew he still felt things for her too although she wasn't quite sure what that was.

So they ate their burgers and chewed over a million great memories and she felt that love she had for him that she had been suppressing for too long begin to bubble inside her. She wanted to tell him. Open her mouth and announce to the entire diner that she was in love with this man, that she always had been, that she couldn't help herself. But she stopped herself and instead smiled at him just a flash of the love she wanted so desperately to share with him.

She was scared that she'd open herself up to him again, let herself fall deeper and deeper in love with him and end up hurt all over again.

Jimmy watched her closely he knew exactly what thoughts were going through her mind. She'd never been good at hiding things from him, he knew her too well, he didn't need her to tell him what she felt, her long dark lashes framed her eyes, her soul.

He loved her right back and he had resolved that she would know it by the end of the night. He missed her, more than he ever believed he would. There were so many little things. Her lips, her arms, her hands, her eyes. He had worked hard, changed, turned his life around and he'd done it all for her. Now all he wanted was to get her back. To be with her again.

Their meals were cleared away and Kim sipped her soda her eyes burning into his soul. He was smiling at her, that dreamy far off look he would often get. The edges of her lips turned upwards in a smile of her own. They had always been comfortable with silence, neither of them had ever felt the need to fill every moment of togetherness with words.

"What?" he asked noticing her smiling across at him.

"Nothing," she glanced at her watch. "I should probably head home, get some sleep."

"You wanna ride?" he offered not wanting her to leave.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course," he reached across the table gripping her hand beneath his.

Jimmy drove towards her apartment, occasionally glancing over at Kim who was staring out the window the familiar Manhattan streets rushing past her, a dark dream. Jimmy pulled the car up outside her apartment, turning the ignition off and twisting in his seat to face her.

"Kim," he started as she turned to look at him an expectant look in her eyes that he could see in the glow of the streetlight that shone from above. She knew what he was going to say, she had felt it building all night.

They both felt exactly the same way about each other but she wasn't sure she was strong enough this time to deal with the downs of their relationship. He tried again the words catching in his throat, "Kim, I have to tell you something."

She reached out cupping the side of his face with her hand, her thumb softly stroking his cheek, "I know."

"You do?"

"Me too," she whispered softly making a decision that she was willing to go with this, open herself up to him again because what she felt for him was just too strong to ignore any longer.

"Come upstairs with me," she said dropping her hand from his face.

Jimmy didn't have to be told twice. In a snap he was opening her door, offering a hand to help her out the car and then she was leading him, her hand in his, up the stairs and through her front door.

Jimmy took a deep breath as she let go of his hand, breathing in the familiarity of the place. He would always feel instantly at home here, surrounded by the memories of Kim and Joey. The row of photographs above the mantle, a static timeline of their lives as a family, smiled down at him, happiness radiating from each and every frame.

Pressing the button on her answer phone the sound of Joey's voice echoed between the four walls. Jimmy watched Kim as they listened to the goodnight message from their son, the love for their child shining in tired eyes.

Kim flopped onto her couch jadedly, her eyes following Jimmy on his re-acquaintance with her apartment, at one time, their apartment. "Jimmy, I wanna talk to you, really talk to you, before things go too far," her mind raced a million reasons to be with him, a single reason not to, but a reason that she couldn't just ignore, no matter how much she loved him.

He made his way towards her, collapsing next to her, a slight gap between them. Kim sat up and took his hand in hers, her fingers gently playing with his. "I love you so much, but I'm scared," she admitted not looking directly at him. "I loved you last time, I believed you loved me and I ended up miserable, hurt and alone."

Jimmy's hand cupped her chin tilting her face so her eyes were level with his, "I've changed," he whispered, "Let me show you how much I love you, how much I've always loved you."

She wanted to believe him when she stared into his eyes glistening with tears. She wanted to desperately and in her heart she did. But her heart was at battle with her mind, the good news was her heart was beginning to win. The feelings she had for Jimmy were too strong and he'd proven to her that he wasn't the same person he had been back then.

Staring into her eyes he saw the battle she was fighting, the tears that rolled from eyes clouded with hesitancy, "I promise you Kim, give me another chance, I'll make it up to you, I'll love you better this time, you have to believe me, please."

Kim realized he was crying now too as he begged her to take him back. It was so unlike Jimmy to show so much emotion, she'd hardly ever seen him cry.

She moved so she was straddling him, sitting on his knee her forehead resting against his, their noses touching, inhaling the familiarity. Their tears mixed as Kim wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and gently placed a kiss on his lips, "I've missed you," she murmured.

Jimmy wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her body as close to his as he possibly could, "I've missed you too."

They both knew they had a long way to go to reclaim the relationship that they wanted with each other but with their arms around each, and the love they had always shared finally admitted, they knew they were on the right track.

They stayed there, on her sofa in her living room, holding each other until Kim finally decided if she didn't move towards bed now she would fall asleep where she was, feeling so warm and safe. He reluctantly let go as she climbed off his lap standing in front of him looking down at where he still sat, "Stay with me," she reached for his hand pulling him to his feet and led him willingly down the hall towards her bedroom.

She changed as he kicked off his shoes and socks and they both crawled under the covers, in a bed filled with memories. Jimmy brought her to him, his arms settling around her, hers under the hem of his shirt, against his warm skin.

Jimmy inhaled the scent of her, his eyes slipping shut, darkness enclosing around him, god he'd missed her, he couldn't believe how stupid he had been in the past. But now she was in his arms he was going to do everything in his power to show her how much he loved her. He was determined they were going to be a family again. Mom, dad, kid. Completely normal. He was going to give her everything because that's what she deserved. Nothing less.

She felt Jimmy's lips flutter softly against her ear as he whispered, "I love you." Kim felt the darkness envelop her as she lay wrapped up in Jimmy's arms. This was where she had wanted to be for so long and it was here, it was real. That thought scared her but it also made her happier than she had been in a long time.

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To be continued... 


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